Chastisement

I don’t live, I survive
I inhale to choke,
I sleep to die
I curse the world but I can’t lie
I blame, I hate, I kill
Myself…
Each day. slowly but effectively…
I know I will succeed because…
You are not here…

My heart disintegrates as I don’t see you but visualize you every other moment.
All I want to do is to trip on your love.
This nemesis can kill me…my tears smother me
But not the sting, it kills with slow poison…relishing each bloodshed.

“With this ring I thee wed”
The very words that haunt me every moment,
The very words I long to hear,
The very words that can keep me alive
If only you would say them…

They maim my smile
They wrench my heart, tear it apart
They build walls of laceration
They want to clog me
And I know they will succeed because…
You are not here…

sad for all the time my embrace was empty to you

sad for being stubborn to be sad

sad for touching objects baring your presence

sad for not touching you...

sad for adding your name everywhere i turn

sad for all the blue jackets other men should not have worn

sad for all my weak spots left untouched

sad to open my eyes in the morning

sad for a cruel truth not even dreams can survive

sad without dreaming

sad of nothing to hope for

sad for still seeing beautiful things worth you .......

sad...for i could not be her...

sad...is just what she is not

Hold not thy laughter
for that joyful sound
I am forever after, seeking when you are around

Hold not thy laughter
as it fights to escapes thy lips...

Hold not thy laughter from the heart
Hold not thy laughter until we part
Hold not thy laughter as we make a start
When I dispel in my gloom
Thy laughter delivers me
Safely from my state of doom
As my rosy cheeks mirthfully blossom…

loved you more than I have ever known
Those starry eyes
Those tender lips
You made my heart melt
Then boil into a roaring fire
I now know
What my eyes could not see
You are the only one that is for me
Many nights those tears flew
Being myself without anyone
Anyone to care about the thoughts
Looking at the sky and knowing
Many mistakes I had
Many mistakes I have had

Away for a while
But still there
Your senses linger
Through the air

Howls of silence
A gentle feeling
Laughter of anger
Through the ceiling

Painful thoughts
Of things to come
Wondering, thinking
Of paths sought

What will come
Through this journey
Happiness, joy
Or pain and misery

Ghosts still wonder
From ancients past
Getting closer
You see their masks

Scared and frightened
You rush to the door
Locked, bolted
You cannot endure

Footsteps louder
Creeping near
Scan left, right
Nothing there

You turn
A shadow appears
Running as quickly
As your tears

You creep forward
And brush your hair
You notice something
That isn’t fair

Hair has fallen
In your hand you stare
Wailing louder
In the dull air

Look ahead
And all you see<
Groans occurring
Blood of sea

Run fast
Across the room
Something’s coming
Cannot see

Stumble do not
Or shall be killed
Run faster<
Or horror slay

Goodbye.......

So soft the brief touch of your lips on my cheek.
Was I almost intruding?
"Look after yourself "
should have been
"I love you!"
Then the Jumbo flew over my head
and I shouted my love
above the roar
and thundering thrust
. . . as if you'd hear.
Through the clouds in my eyes
I watched you fly away
and wished I'd been born with wings. ......

Tears fall from my eyes
As softly the memories flow
With tears, warm on my cheeks
I miss you so much.

Tomorrow is frightening
except for the thought
Of seeing you again,
Another time, another place.

I hear your voice;
In my dreams
We talk and laugh
About silly……..important things.

Each day without you is less:
Less bright, less full…
I feel your love with me,
Yet, I want you to hold.

I felt u the first time when I did not even know who u were I just dreamt about u
And the stuff we would do together…
But I knew u were there…

I remember those times

When I was pensive

I frantically searched for your hand
To get a grip…

And even today I know not who u are
But I miss you………